disability

I got a new abortive migraine med from the doctor- zomig. I haven't tried it yet (since I've been at my grandparents and the medicine is at my house). I decided to check it out and went to the zomig website- clicked on the part for healthcare providers (you get better information that way), and found some Migraine Disability Assessment (MIDAS). Now, I'm pretty sure I got my score correctly- just add up all the number answers from questions 1-5, right?- so, according to this system, I am severely disabled by my migraines. Let's put this in perspective: according to the MIDAS, one is classified as being severely disabled by migraines if one gets a score of 21 or above. My score, on the somewhat conservative side even, was about 130.
Is there an über severely disabled?

And really, do I actually fit in that category? I can still function, for the most part- sure, I miss a lot of activities and junk, but there are people with severe disabilities that do a lot more than I do. Therefore, I don't think the level of disability can be measured by how much it causes one to miss out on activities, or any of the other things that MIDAS, in just five questions, measures.

Sure, it's quite nice- validating, I suppose, to have some measurement created by some scientist/doctor person (read:pharmaceutical company) which says my migraines really do interfere with life a good deal (I'm off the charts, even. ooh-hoo.). It's nice to know I can pull out things such as MIDAS and doctors' notes that say I'm "severely disabled" or have "severe migraines". It's nice to have those things to back me up when others, or even myself, doubt the level that migraines and such junk interfere with my life.

But do I truly identify myself as being severely disabled?

Of course not! I have met severely disabled people and it would seem, to me, an affront to them to put myself in the same class as them. It would be unseemly, presumptious, arrogant, and self-centered of me to think that my migraines are as debilitating as severe disabilities such as low-end-spectrum autism, cerebral palsy, down's, cancer, renal failure, heart disease, epilepsy, the worser-end mental disorders, crohn's, and so on. I would never presume myself to be in the same situation as people suffering from these diseases. All I can reasonably say is that I have enough experience with illness to have an at-least-somewhat-solid glimpse into what severe disability is like.

Pennsylvania

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These are the PA colleges (and institutes) that I'm looking into. Cool stuff.

like two little old ladies

"Are ya hungry?"
"No."
"Oh well, you're not gonna get dinner, d'you want us to bring you back a burger?"
"No thanks. I'm fine."
"Y'sure?"
"Yeah."
"Well, okay... In case you get hungry, there's some Kibbles in the dog bowl, and treats in that basket over there," he points to the basket filled with pupperoni and pigs' ears. "And there's mashed potatoes in the fridge. They're a week old, but still good." Of course he would offer up the mashed potatoes- he's had them four times this week and is thoroughly sick of them!
"OK, I'll keep that in mind."
Enters Grandma.
"Are you cold?"
"No, I'm fine."
"Well, sometimes the house doesn't heat up very well. Especially at night, we always turn the fireplace on then."
"Grandma," Grandpa interrupts, "She's not cold."
"Well she might be." Granma turns to me, "Do you want me to turn the fireplace on?"
"I'm alright," I respond, smiling.
"Well, I'll go turn it on..."
"She's not cold, Sonya," Grandpa interjects.
"She might get cold."
"She's wearing a short-sleeved shirt and said she's not." He turns to me and says knowingly, "You don't get to decide when you get cold. Grandma decides."
Grandma turns back to me, "Do you want me to turn it on?"
I grin and tell her the truth, again- "I don't care."
"Just leave it off, Sonya."
"Well... alright," she concedes. Grandma walks to the pantry. "Are you hungry?" And she begins to list off the things I could eat.
"I'm fine. I'll find something. I'm really not very hungry."
"Well, this," She pulls out some concoction in a bag, "is really easy to cook, so you can have that if you get hungry."
I start laughing.
"She's not hungry, Sonya. Just leave her alone and let's go."
"Alright, Roger," she says and rolls her eyes. Before she leaves the room, a red stick pops in front of my face. "Do you like twizzlers?" I think, kind of, but not really, but don't say anything and opt for just shrugging while I laugh some more.
"She doesn't want it, Grandma. Leave the girl alone."
"Oh, alright." She rolls her eyes at Grandpa again, but the red thing disappears. "Well, I'm going to have one."
"Alright. Let's go." He turns to me. "Don't break the laptop. You break it you buy it. And if I find any viruses or porn on there, you're in trouble. Unless it's good porn, then I'll just copy it over to my favorites."
Grandma rolls her eyes again, but manages to give him a good deal of patience. "Come on, Roger, we've got to go."
It takes me a few minutes to stop laughing. I can't help but think that they are just like two little old ladies.

I love my grandparents.

Who'da thunk it?

Is it possible that, when it comes to relationships with guys, I err strongly on the side of caution? I have always told myself that I would be really careful when I started to date someone. I wouldn't get seriously involved in a really short amount of time. I wouldn't commit myself to someone without careful consideration, discussion, prayer, and most likely even fasting. I would be sure to know a guy really well and that he really was "Mr. Right" before marrying him. All of this because of how prevalant divorce is in the world, and especially because of how prevalant it is in my family.
I guess what I need to recognize is that not everyone thinks like that. And they may not even be wrong.

How to recognize love in my world/What love does to me

Love can do funny things to us.
Love causes me to think; but distracts me terribly.
Love causes me to focus; but can also make me forget.
Love can make me feel almost healthy; or it can make me throw up.
Love can make me laugh; and then it can make me weep.
Love causes me to learn- and wish I never had.
Love can make me feel like shrinking, but still cause me to grow.
Love makes me want to dance, but then it makes me want to stay home.
Love can make me stay up late, even though it makes me tired.
Love can be there when I do something for you, and even when I don't.
Love is when, after forgetting, you suddenly cross my mind.
Love is the reason I give you a hug and mean it; even while I'm mad at you.
Love is why I change for you, but try to always be the same.
Love is like the sunshine that can make me love the rain.
Love is everywhere; but still so hard to find.
Love makes me perfect- while it reminds me that I'm not.