sometimes i like to drive in circles...

Usually, I end up driving in circles because I've gotten lost. I'm proud to say, however, that since I've gotten lost so many times, I actually have a decent sense of direction now (if not a decent sense of distance). So yesterday I was scheduled to work, but had to get there a few hours early to take care of something. I had a couple hours to chill before my shift started and so went to Fred Meyer, and then decided to take a different way back to the hospital. Now, Fred Meyer is relatively close to Swedish Hospital (the red SH on the map above), but somehow I went further than i expected, took the really really long way back. I was pretty chill for the first 10-20 minutes- it was an adventure, after all! In the back of my brain I had a sense of where the hospital was relative to me, but I was on this road that just didn't end! And it had nothing come off of it except private driveways. Eventually I found myself in Fall City (thinking, wow, that's an actual city? i thought it was just part of a street name...), and saw a sign saying I-90 this way. That was good, because I knew I-90 would take me back to the hospital. Now, for those of you who don't know, Fall City on this map is on the upper R hand corner, where my blue line lies near hwy 202. Here I am thinking that I-90 is just around the corner. It's a windy road, so I spent the next 15 minutes thinking maybe I-90 is right around the next corner. It wasn't. However, I did see a number of places I'd either like to hike, camp, or take pictures (somewhere along Preston-Fall City Rd there is what appears to be an abandoned mine... oh boy- how picturesque!). So, nice drive, but it was getting late and I'd been driving for 30 minutes and had 45 till work started. I was just about to turn back, when finally I started seeing more houses and less trees. I found I-90 about 5 minutes later, and hopped on it going west (because I had a vague sense that Preston and Fall City are east of Issaquah... I'm rather glad I had this sense, because without I may well be in Spokane by now), and found my way back to work. Yay!
And then I looked up on google the route I took and laughed, because I totally went in a big circle.

What life lessons can we learn here?
Keep going... I-90 is right around the next curve! Well, there's actually a few curves to go around first...

"stop it!"

President Uchtdorf said something awesome in General Conference last April.  Here's an excerpt from that epic speech (which you can read in its entirety here)

This topic of judging others could actually be taught in a two-word sermon.  When it comes to hating, gossiping, ignoring, ridiculing, holding grudges, or wanting to cause harm, please apply the following:

Stop it! 

It's that simple.  We simply have to stop judging others and replace judgmental thoughts and feelings with a heart full of love for God and His children. 

I think this talk resonated with all who listened for two reasons, 1) we all judge others and need to stop, and 2) President Uchtdorf presented it so matter-of-factly, and lovingly.

I came across the below recently on a blog I enjoy following.  I thought it rather fitting.

(photo from jessica hagy's awesome blog, here)

my mom is hilarious

This is a recent ad she placed on craigslist....

Big Black Sectional Sofa / Couch - $25 

SAVE BIG BLACK!!! Big Black needs a new home. It has served us well for years, but we're tossing her aside for a younger model with microfiber and color.
The far left section of Big Black includes a reclining seat, which provides perfect comfort for watching both football and dancing with the stars. It also has put in many years of sci-fi and homework support. We have paired it nicely with both floral and striped pillows and it's always happy to keep a throw handy on a cold winter's eve. As the pictures attest, it is in pretty good shape although it is starting to show its age a bit on the most loved cushions. A couple of the back panels have small tears, but these are actually quite subtle and well hidden if against the wall (and could easily be disguised by a small strategically placed bit of black tape).
The right section includes a hide-a-bed that worked well until the "pig-pile incident" of late 2011. We thought 20-something adult children could count a bit better, but alas, The Black did sustain some damage that night. The hide-a-bed now hides well, it just doesn't un-hide to become-a-bed so well. If someone was handy and had the right sort of crow bar and patience, that could probably be remedied. However, as my husband's strengths run more toward IT and emergency response issues, and I'd rather play in the garden, we're happy to let someone else take a crack at it and help the Black regain some of her multi-purpose glory.
Big Black is actually REAL LEATHER on the front/facing cushions (we think the back may be "leatherette" or some similar cowhide imposter), which disguises a million faux and real paw prints and cleans up beautifully with a few clorox wipes and a vacuum hose attachment. It comes in three sections. The bed section is fairly bulky and heavy. The others are just bulky. So you'll probably need two people who can lift and maneuver well.
Not bad for $25, eh? We might even consider "OBO" as well if it meant the Black would be truly appreciated and well cared for.
p.s. We're hoping Big Black will go on Saturday so as to avoid an awkward encounter with her replacement. Please text 206-555-5555 to Save Big Black. 

It should be noted that my mom bought Big Black's replacement for $10 :)

what do you do...

Oh, what do you do in the morning-time when all the world is black?
Do you lay in your bed, write blogs to be read, and yawn a big yawn and sigh?
Is that what you do?  So do I!

(inspired by Oh, What Do You Do in the Summertime?)


A lot of these posts get written in the wee hours of the night or the wee hours of the morning.  Today I woke up and wasn't feeling good enough to work, but was too awake to go back to sleep.  The time was o'dark-thirty.  Much, much too early to be awake with nothing to do if you ask me.  So two posts that have been sitting unfinished in my drafts folder got finished and published today.  And the above song (or ditty) was written as my facebook status.  I was so proud of it that I figured I just had to share it here on my blog so it would be less likely to get lost in the flood of social information.

So really-- what do you do in the morning-time when all the world is black?  Leave comments!

that's right. i'm a sage.

so the boy she likes happens to like her. he also happens to play city of heroes, which is the online RPG that my dad and step-brother recently got her into. so it's their day off of school and she's complaining that he won't stop texting her to get online and play with him and she keeps telling him that she can't get on the computer right now. so finally she told him that he needs to level up to play with her. he responded by asking when she'd be able to play.

my advice? text him back and say,

"if you don't stop texting me, you will never level up"

more qoutes

because i ran out of room on my facebook qoutes page. see here for my previous post of qoutes.

"get away! get away! There's a demon in my soup!! and its speaking to me." --Tyler M./Charlie G.

"my wife scares me! --she's always right!" -glenn beck

"...does that make us armpit lice?" -mary

"susan g. squeekers" -mary's name for her dog's chew toy

"i must despise you now" -evil queen from a cheesy 80's movie

"I cannot stop someone from walking down a path of thorns, but I can find the garden of roses for myself so I can lead them there when they are ready." -Jarrod

"[he's] going to -eat- me!"
"well then... you'd better make sure you're... yummy!" -eddy and me

"You're not going to catch up, Marianne"
"I'm mustard?" --me and Marianne

*high pitched noise*
"What was that?"
"A dolphin... it was the first thing that popped into my mind!" -Marianne, me, Marianne

"We can be mustard buddies... we can pickle each other." -Marianne

"it's a dandelion..."
"What about a dandelion?"
"I don't know! There's one in my brain... and it turned into an umbrella... a pink one... mm-hmm." -Marianne, me, Marianne

"Your job ain't gonna be worth the sweat off an Elvis impersonator if you're dead" -Perry White from "Lois and Clark"

"Helloo... this is Heaven. We approve this message." -Mary

"smile your kisser or no one will kiss your smiler" -Jamie quoting a Professor Woolley

"When filled with God's love, we can do and see and understand things that we could not otherwise do or see or understand. Filled with His love, we can endure pain, quell fear, forgive freely, avoid contention, renew strength, and bless and help others in ways surprising even to us." --John H. Groberg

"I'm not going to blame your poor dad, but I'm sure it's his fault" -Grandma about my Grandpa

"Turn down my thought bubble?"
"You were thinking much too loudly. This is a library, you know." -Triangle and Robert #16

"The universe. What flavor was it?"
"Universe flavored. What you mortals call butterscotch." -Triangle and Robert #28

"I'd ask what's going on, but I'm afraid you'd tell me." -Triangle and Robert #403

"Be great, not grest!" -me and alyssa

"Distinctly vague with a vague taste of something distinct." -T&R #567

"Love and work are viewed and experienced as totally separate activities motivated by separate needs. Yet, when we think about it, our common sense tells us that our most inspired, creative acts are deeply tied to our need to love and that, when we lack love, we find it difficult to work creatively; that work without love is dead, mechanical, sheer competence without vitality, that love without work grows boring, monotonous, lacks depth and passion." --Marta Zahaykevich (thanks colette!)

"In every story is a story not told... I learned to listen to the untold stories. Sometimes, they passed fugitively across my mother's face or I caught sight of them disappearing behind another tale." -Kim Chernin

heehee... told you i'm a canadian!!

thanks to Bridget

What American accent do you have? Your Result: North Central "North Central" is what professional linguists call the Minnesota accent. If you saw "Fargo" you probably didn't think the characters sounded very out of the ordinary. Outsiders probably mistake you for a Canadian a lot.
The Midland
The South
The West
The Inland North
Philadelphia
Boston
The Northeast
What American accent do you have? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

i love my little sister

(I almost titled this note: "A Child's Prayer")

So, my youngest sister is ten years old and, as anyone who knows me well knows, annoys the heck out of me regularly (actually, that's not true, because if she really had "annoyed the heck" out of me, i would "have no more disposition to do evil"...). Despite this, I do acknowledge that the girl has a gift for saying beautiful prayers.

Today's prayer on dinner was... well... I just give you the highlights:

"We thank thee for this beautiful family which thou hast created and for the love we've built and have for each other..." (absolutely beautiful- I totally agree with her gratitude in that!)

a few sentences later came:

"...and please bless the ill that they may be a little ill, but not die..."

Do you think God will forgive me for my barely contained and irreverent laughter?

jon arbuckle has migraines....

From the lovely Garfield Minus Garfield website.

thoughts for today

Exchange student left this morning. I'm going to miss him. It took about a week for him to integrate into our family, or rather, for him to feel comfortable enough to start teasing and being sarcastic. It was great. He chatted with Sister and I a couple of nights. Both were very fun conversations filled with all manner of remarks from insightful to inane. Now he's gone, however, and life is back to at least semi-normal. It's too bad. He was a good brother.

I think the new anti-emetic might be working. It's called Ondansetron (Zofran), and I was grateful that the insurance was willing to pay for it. Apparently it's expensive and they don't like to cover it unless you have cancer or have tried a bunch of anti-emetics already. I haven't been eating much, still, but I think it's still about the same as it has been for awhile now. Since the end of the holidays I have been eating less and less sweets- trying to avoid them, for the most part, and that seems to be very good for me. I think all this is why it's been over a week since I last threw up- yay!! Maybe it'll continue- that'd be nice-, but I have a suspicion that it won't. That might just be nerves talking, which may just result in a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy. Oh well, we'll wait and see....
Migraine medicine is less promising. We just upped my Verapamil from 120 2x/day to 120/morning and 240/night. I am still trying Zomig, and it seems like it works... sometimes. I don't know, it's hard to tell. I'll give it a couple more weeks to see. I think, though, that it works slightly better than the Amerge, but not as well as is ideal. There's one triptan left for me to try, and then I don't know what if we have to try more.... The doctor talked about prescribing Prednisone again to "break the cycle", but after hearing about how it made me anxious the last two times around decided not to (I think also because I was kind of wishy-washy on how well it worked). She said it was good that I'm doing yoga, and told me to do it 3x a week. This should help with my baseline tension-headaches. Sounds good to me.

I like yoga. I like how it stretches out my muscles. How it is relaxing and meditative. How it makes me more "aware" of my body. I like how it helps with my nausea, and even how it stimulates my digestive system (ie- relieves, somewhat, my constipation; though the resulting flatulence can be a bit embarrassing in class if I'm not careful). I think I even like how it is a bit cheesy and makes me laugh to myself as I think about things like happy babies, planks, cats, dogs, fire hydrants, corpses...

I'm working on discovering a study method that works for me. So far I've decided on two things. I need to minimize the amount of time I spend with my neck bent down (the sub-occipital trigger point gets to me), and I need to be aware of my mental status. If my thinking starts to get cloudy, then I should stop and do something that doesn't involve a lot of thinking, or rest, and then come back later. I won't get anywhere with cloudy thinking and it's better to just go and take care of it then to allow it to continue and frustrate me.
It's been difficult to get back into the swing of studying. I really quite have gotten out of it- starting last spring when I got sick. It's been eve more difficult to get back into the habit of studying and doing homework because I'm still sick. Hopefully I'll learn more about what works for me for studying, and develop some more self-discipline along the way (I'm smart enough to realise that I lack some). It's difficult, but I just have to remind myself to keep trying and learning and growing; and to not beat myself up too much when I struggle.

There was a fireside last Friday and Elder Bednar of the qourum of the twelve apostles came. It was an amazing fireside. He and Elder Merrill of the seventy conducted a Q&A fireside which turned out very well, despite most of us thinking he was a bit loony for trying to get us to ask him questions. I think my two favorite things about the fireside were when I asked him a question, and when he bore his testimony at the end. After I had asked my question and sat back down, he deferred to Elder Merrill to answer it, then answered it himself. I'd like to say that it is a very strange experience to have two people with such authority looking straight at you. That was something. Then, when he bore his testimony, it was interesting how when he said "I witness..." that he was using the word "witness" in a way that not many people can. Most of us use it as synonymous for things like "bear my testimony", "believe", and "know". The way Elder Bednar said it, one could tell that not only was he bearing witness of the gospel, but he himself is a witness. That was something. Amazing. The power and authority that backed his statements were quite evident. The leaders of this Church are called by our Father in Heaven. It's amazing.

puke n' plunge

I would like to say that vomiting, clogging up the toilet (honestly, I think it had problems before I came along), and then having to obtain a garbage can to go vomit in one's bedroom is passing unpleasant. But don't say- at least it can't get worse, because, oh man, it can. It's not too bad when it's just family- you just have to avoid the little sister who always asks too many questions about vomiting-, but when there's a guest, well, then comes the embarrasment factor. You have to plunge that toilet so other people can use the bathroom, but you're still vomiting, so you carry the garbage can with you to the bathroom and alternate between plunging and puke. It goes something like this:
Plunge, plunge, plunge. Stop! Puke, puke. Breath. Plunge, plunge, plunge. Stop! Gag, gag, gag, puke! (repeat)
Really, I think I have a new rap song in the making... (don't you think it's catchy?)
And then you come out of the bathroom with your garbage can and proceed quite quickly to your bedroom for some peace, while the exchange student looks at you in surprise.
No doubt Little Sister has told him what you're probably doing by now. And how often it happens. And she probably doesn't even have the sense or knowledge to explain it so that it doesn't sound like you're bulimic.
Great. Guess I'll have some damage control to do.

It's passing unpleasant, I tell you.

If it were further in the past than this morning, I'm quite positive I'd be laughing about it. Go ahead and laugh- you have my permission.

New Years' Resolutions from Others

1. "About one arcminute, with my glasses on." This is actually pretty funny- once you understand it (I had to look it up). from BadAstronomy
2. "Quit prostituting my taste buds". I don't think I'm really in much danger of that, unless one considers my tastebuds to be "easy", which very well might be the case. (they're even starting to go for nutrition drinks and plain toats!) This one is from The Cheerful Oncologist.
3. "Uphold Magnanimity". This is a really great one that may just warrant its own post sometime in the near future! Also from Cheerful Onco.

I'll update this if I find any other cool resolutions.
Look for a list of my own to come!

like two little old ladies

"Are ya hungry?"
"No."
"Oh well, you're not gonna get dinner, d'you want us to bring you back a burger?"
"No thanks. I'm fine."
"Y'sure?"
"Yeah."
"Well, okay... In case you get hungry, there's some Kibbles in the dog bowl, and treats in that basket over there," he points to the basket filled with pupperoni and pigs' ears. "And there's mashed potatoes in the fridge. They're a week old, but still good." Of course he would offer up the mashed potatoes- he's had them four times this week and is thoroughly sick of them!
"OK, I'll keep that in mind."
Enters Grandma.
"Are you cold?"
"No, I'm fine."
"Well, sometimes the house doesn't heat up very well. Especially at night, we always turn the fireplace on then."
"Grandma," Grandpa interrupts, "She's not cold."
"Well she might be." Granma turns to me, "Do you want me to turn the fireplace on?"
"I'm alright," I respond, smiling.
"Well, I'll go turn it on..."
"She's not cold, Sonya," Grandpa interjects.
"She might get cold."
"She's wearing a short-sleeved shirt and said she's not." He turns to me and says knowingly, "You don't get to decide when you get cold. Grandma decides."
Grandma turns back to me, "Do you want me to turn it on?"
I grin and tell her the truth, again- "I don't care."
"Just leave it off, Sonya."
"Well... alright," she concedes. Grandma walks to the pantry. "Are you hungry?" And she begins to list off the things I could eat.
"I'm fine. I'll find something. I'm really not very hungry."
"Well, this," She pulls out some concoction in a bag, "is really easy to cook, so you can have that if you get hungry."
I start laughing.
"She's not hungry, Sonya. Just leave her alone and let's go."
"Alright, Roger," she says and rolls her eyes. Before she leaves the room, a red stick pops in front of my face. "Do you like twizzlers?" I think, kind of, but not really, but don't say anything and opt for just shrugging while I laugh some more.
"She doesn't want it, Grandma. Leave the girl alone."
"Oh, alright." She rolls her eyes at Grandpa again, but the red thing disappears. "Well, I'm going to have one."
"Alright. Let's go." He turns to me. "Don't break the laptop. You break it you buy it. And if I find any viruses or porn on there, you're in trouble. Unless it's good porn, then I'll just copy it over to my favorites."
Grandma rolls her eyes again, but manages to give him a good deal of patience. "Come on, Roger, we've got to go."
It takes me a few minutes to stop laughing. I can't help but think that they are just like two little old ladies.

I love my grandparents.