school papers and prayer

i was asked by a friend with an upcoming research paper due for school, if i had any advice on how to research?  i am by far not an expert (i do know some experts!), but i am comfortable with the research process, so i shared what i could and tried to be helpful.  after our conversation, i pulled out the magic book i have from my intro to college writing class which i took several years ago (On Writing, by Wendy Bishop) to see if I found any useful tidbits to pass along.

the author says (p 398) to think of research as it really is, "a process of finding out; that is, learning, as well as finding support for your ideas and presenting your thinking and arguments in the company of the thinking and arguments of others."

she goes on--
"all writers research.  they do this because they love to learn about the world in ways that inform their writing.  writers study the world: they observe it, they interview its inhabitants, they record the results of their studies and thoughts. ... whether consulting your memory or an on-line database, you're searching for information and voices to strengthen your own voice.  when you quote an authority, you show that you've considered the thoughts and positions of others.  you also align yourself with that individual in an ongoing, community discussion....  when readers realize you're grounded and connected- that you've done your researcher's homework, they begin to listen to your points with less resistance.  you gain a hearing and your views are respected."

i like the perspective she offers here-- it makes research seem like a more natural task and less daunting.  and maybe, just maybe, even fun!

i was thinking about this and realized that research for writing is a lot like praying (or giving a talk in church).  you start with a question, and then you research to come to an answer.  that research involves asking God, and it also involves utilizing the materials He's made available to us.  scriptures, conference talks, the ensign, other published materials, church leaders, friends and family, as well as more secular, non-religious materials.  in the process of getting information from all these sources, we become informed on our topic in question.  in fact, we become informed on more than just our specific question, but also on the general topics surrounding it.  eventually, we are able to consider all of this information and obtain an answer to our question.  sometimes we figure out that answer step by step as we ponder all we have researched.  sometimes, that answer is spoken by the Holy Spirit directly to our minds.  either way, the research we have done is critical to prepare our minds, so the answer can not only be accepted, but also understood.  when an answer to prayer comes to a prepared mind, the recipient is able to act upon it and then reap blessings and further direction.

Richard G Scott said, "it is a mistake to assume that every prayer we offer will be answered immediately.  some prayers require considerable effort on our part."  (see conference talk from 1989)  sometimes we have to do a lot of research to come to an answer.

let's consider the story of Joseph Smith Jr when he was just a young teenager.  he wanted to know which church to join, so he researched it.  not only did he go to the different churches in his area, but he spoke with the pastors and members and he spoke with with his family.  he considered all that each had to say.  he also read the scriptures and prayed about it.  he heeded he prompting of james 1:5 which addresses all those who lack wisdom, and prompts them to ask of God, who "giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not".  Joseph was determined to obtain an answer, so he heeded this call and went to a quiet place in the woods to pray vocally.  after a great struggle, he relates "I saw a pillar of light exactly over my head, above the brightness of the sun, which descended gradually until it fell upon me.  ... When the light rested upon me I saw two Personages, whose brightness and glory defy all description, standing above me in the air.  One of them spake unto me, calling me by name and said, pointing to the other- This is My Beloved Son.  Hear Him!"  Joseph was visited by none other than God the Father and Jesus Christ.  his question was answered by Christ, who instructed him to join none of the religions- for they were all wrong and incomplete.  Joseph then became an instrument for Jesus Christ, to restore His gospel in its entirety upon the earth.  (See Joseph Smith-History)

research also informs answers we have already received.  D&C 8:1-2 reads "I will tell you in your mind and in your heart, by the Holy Ghost."  Elder Scott elaborates, "When we receive an impression in our heart, we can use our mind either to rationalize it away or to accomplish it."  when we use our mind to help us accomplish impressions given to our hearts, that also often involves research.

a few years ago i was wanting to go back to school, but felt that my health at the time would not permit it.  i had spent a couple years praying, going to doctors, trying new medicines and treatments, going to the temple, and receiving priesthood blessings.  one summer i visited some friends at BYU-Idaho for a vacation.  while there, i also wanted to scope out the place, hoping that someday i may be well enough to attend.  during this trip, i felt impressed that i should start school there that very fall.  the semester was to start within 2 months from my vacation.  i had a to do a lot of work and research to make this happen.  i spoke with multiple administrative people on campus, sent a petition to the appeals committee, got a letter from my doctor, scouted out housing, and discussed my decision with my family (who all then rallied behind me in support).  it happened, and about 2 months after receiving the answer to go to school, i began my studies at BYU-Idaho.  it was nothing short of a series of miracles which enabled me to make it there.  but i had to prepare myself for those miracles, and i had to research all of the options available to me.

i know that through prayer, personal study, and action, we can receive answers to our questions and direction in our lives.  i know that as we pattern our life in all ways after gospel principles, we will be blessed.  asking God and then studying out our concerns is a gospel process- an eternal method- for obtaining knowledge and answers.  if this process is followed, we will be blessed in all aspects of our lives.

a new year?

Hmmm.... it's a new year and I haven't posted since last year!  It's late and I should be sleeping, but we'll do a quick update.

1) work continues to be awesome and I love it.  a couple weeks ago a man passed out in the radiology department.  ER staff was called over, and I followed my doc- let's call him Fred.  They started CPR.  Fred grabbed some trauma shears, and starting cutting the man's coat off him.  Well, it was one of those coats which is packed with feathers, so when he cut into it, the feathers exploded.  All of a sudden, you had 6 people in a radiology lobby, crowded around a man, performing CPR and breathing for him with a bag-valve mask.... with feathers which appeared like snow, floating all around them.  There was something kind of magical about it, and I'm afraid I can't begin to do it justice in this description.  It was kind of like a movie... with some Sarah McLachlen song playing in the background.

2)  I've started exercising again recently!  (And by recently, I mean-- this week haha.)  For the next few weeks, it will be hot yoga.  After that, my special groupon deal (20 sessions for $40) will expire, and then I'll probably just join a gym or something.  I made a deal with my physiatrist that I have to be exercising regularly to get another round of Botox.  And (dun dun dun!) if I don't, he has permission to give me a talking-to.  Yikes!

3)  Speaking of Botox, I got some back in October.  No, it's not for wrinkles (which I wouldn't have anyways, as I'm in my early-mid 20's), it's for migraines.  The idea is that it paralyzes muscles in the head which contribute to the migraines.  My insurance approved 2 rounds of it.  1 round usually lasts 2-3 months. I think it really helped-- the fact that I was able to work like crazy without any intense, long-lasting, or hard-to-treat migraines popping up is my testament to that.  I believe it's worn off now, as in the past couple weeks I feel like I'm starting to get migraines a little more frequently.  Another thing the Botox seemed to help with was my constant, low-grade headache.  I've had that headache 24/7 for 5 or 6 years now.  I think there were a couple points about a month or two ago when that headache was almost gone.  I remember driving and thinking "do I have a headache?"  It's a little hard to tell sometimes when you're used to it being there all the time, so it took me a moment.  I had just the slightest pressure in my forehead, so it was still there, but just barely.  Tiny enough that I almost wonder if I thought it into existence.  On a pain scale of 1-10, I would have rated it in that moment as a 0.5.  Which is awesome.  The idea with the second round of Botox is that even after the Botox wears off, the relaxing effect on my muscles will be more permanent, leaving a long-term relief.  Last time my doc only gave me shots in a few places in my head (a couple in the forehead, a couple on each side of the head, and a couple at the back of the head).  Next time we'll do a bunch of shots all over.  That will kind of suck while it's happening, but I'm positive will be more than worth it 5 days later when the stuff starts kicking in.

In case you couldn't tell, I get really excited about medical stuff and the prospect of my migraines being better.

4)  I've started thinking about Med school.  It's a long way off as I don't even have an AA yet (which fact I have accepted and is only slightly distressing to me nowadays), but the more I work at my job, the more I could see myself being a doctor.  I think it's work I would really really enjoy.  What would I want to specialize in?  I dunno.... Emergency medicine, neurology, physiatry, and hem/onc are all on my mind.  Surgery would be cool because I like looking at guts, but I have a feeling I wouldn't actually go with it.  Anyways, that's all far off, and so for now, jsut a dream.  ... Just a dream that I'll start working towards.

5)  Related to that, I'm sad to not be in school right now.  But I prayed about it, and I really feel that right now is a time to take a break from school.  Focus on my health.  Pay off some debt.  Save up some money. Etc etc.  I also think that it's been good for my pride to have my education pursue a more delayed, alternate route.  If I had graduated at age 21 or 22 like I had planned, there's a chance I might be a bit of a snoot.  Not on purpose, of course, but I think it could happen.  It's also been good to learn that God is in charge of my life- not me.  Oh, and perhaps one of the most important lessons is something along the line of Heavenly Father loves me, no matter what, and I am of value to Him even if I have not accomplished what I thought I should have by now.  One can be a good, successful person, without achieving many milestones which the world values as most important.  That whole idea is a whole other post in itself.

6)  My auntie got me a kindle for Christmas.  I've had my nose stuck in that thing ever since.  It's nice to feel like a book worm again.

7)  I'm tired from being extroverted and peppy last year.  It's time for sleep and time to myself.  And family.  And close friends.


I think we'll call that it for now.  It's super late, as I didn't get off work till after midnight.  I'll leave something amusing with you.  Was talking to a friend when he asked, "have you ever wondered how someone feels having a disease named after them?"  naturally, the conversation turned to naming a disease after him.

Meet the Rutherford Reaction: a temporary, psychosomatic reaction, usually in un-married persons, triggered by interactions with the opposite sex.  criteria for diagnosis: 1) an erythematous, non-pruritic, non-maculopapular rash of the skin over the zygomatic arch, 2) a subjective fever, 3) disequilibrium, and 4) agoraphobia.

What would the Sager Syndrome be??

can't sleep, and i've never liked counting sheep

my first interesting (and inane) note, is how on commas. you see, as i was typing the title to this post, i put a comma right up there after "can't sleep".  my elementary school training tells me that's not necessary, but rather optional.  because it's coming before "and".  i believe there was some movement to take commas away from before "and". or at least be okay with a lack of them.  at least, that's what i recall mrs. bowers in the fourth grade telling me.  or was it mrs. rossall in the fifth?  anyways, when i was in training for my absolutely wonderful new scribe job, my supervisor told me i didn't put enough commas in.  she'd go over histories of present illness i'd written, and stick in a bunch of commas(an HPI the part of the patient's chart where you sum up all the stuff they told you about what's wrong with them today). we had a nice discussion about commas following this.  she's only a few years older than i, and so i wonder- did the anti-comma movement begin with my generation?  or is it just me?  so in order to make her happy, i began putting commas in all sorts of grammatically appropriate places which i had never previously done.  and i'm still doing it.  it makes me chuckle.
oh, and i'm not sure if this is related or not, but most physicians (and scribes) seem to be against double spacing between sentences.  i've observed doctors go over my HPI and removethe double spaces.  i adapt, and then remind myself that they probably didn't major in english.  oh, except there is one doctor who does use them, and i get excited because then i can type the way i'm trained to-- with double spaces after my periods.  except i think the habit might be wearing a little thin, because in writing this i'm havign to consciously remind myself to double space.
i flash back to that time in sixth grade when my mom, english major and all, reviewed an essay i wrote.  i remember her informing me that i needed to double space between sentences.  i told her my teacher didn't ask for that.  she responded that it's the proper thing to do, and even if my teacher didn't ask for it, i should do it anyways.  so i did.  and it became a habit.  and i never remember anyone else making a fuss about it during my school career, so either i learned my lesson, or no one cared.  or both.  but i'm glad that my mom taught me to double space.

now, if you didn't consider those previous 3 paragraphs a waste of your time, i'll just keep babbling.  and if you did, but you're still reading for some reason anyways, i'll just keep babbling all the same.

so it's 3am and i can't sleep.  why?  a few reasons.  the first being that i am a night owl by nature.  even if i get into the habit of waking early, it doesn't take much at all to get me back into my night owl-y ways.  second reason, work.  i worked night shift recently, and then some late nights since.  add that to the spring quarter being over and therefore no reason to be out of bed at 7am after working till midnight the previous night, and you have night-owlishness.  on top of that, i didn't really make it to my morning classes regularly for the last two weeks of spring quarter.  'cuz my migraines started acting up.
yeah, i should have expected as much.  and i'm pretty sure i know exactly what happened.  you see, i registered for classes full-time.  and then i started a new job.  and i still tried to spend some time with family, and have a social life, and date.  and go to church.  i was really excited at the beginning of all this, because i feel satisfied when my life is full.  when i am busily engaged in multiple good things, feel like i'm moving forward in my life, and have meaningful relationships with the people around me, i feel content.  more than content, actually.  i'm happy, and excited, and super grateful.
i knew before the quarter started that i should be looking for a job, and that i should be working.  i recall feeling confident about going to school full-time.  i was nervous about adding work to that challenge, but i knew the impression to work and go to school was an impression from my Heavenly Father.  i trusted that since that was what He wanted me to do, i would be able to do it.  and for a few weeks i did.  honestly, if i didn't have the health problems that i do, i think i would have been able to keep it up.  but that's what made me feel so grateful- i knew that there was no way without the aide of God and His angels that i could work and go to school.  and truly, even just the few weeks that i did do it and stay on top of things were nothing short of miraculous, especially when juxtaposed with my academic and health histories.

but let's catch up to where i am now.  the quarter's over and i still haven't finished my classes.  i have an arrangement with my teachers, so there's hope, but it still makes me nervous.  and i'm nervous about my future.  it kind of sucks not being able to count on the long term plans i make because my health problems have a habit of never resolving and popping back up with a vengeance for months at a time at least a few times yearly.  i like doing things, and i like making plans.  it's hard to feel limited in my ability to do both.
oh, and there's the whole thing about wanting to get married.  and have a family.  i don't want to rush into anything, and indeed, i find some fulfillment from simply getting to know and befriend the single guys around me.  i've been pretty happy with the state of my love life as of late.  but my attitude changes a little bit when i get sick, and am subsequently cooped up for days on end (where did that expression come from anyways?  when you break it down, it really doesn't mean anything... reminds me of a conversation my buddy stan and i had about the english language versus ancient languages).  in these cases, i really just want someone to have at home, to cuddle with in bed while i feel like crap and my hair is a mess.  and someone whom i don't have to worry about losing a chance with or dealing with those silly dating situations when i want to cancel, reschedule, or just change what we're doing for a date because i don't feel up to doing much.
and just so we're clear, i'm not saying that i'm looking for a cuddle-buddy.  those are nice, i guess, but mostly useless, and confusing.

also, i'm pretty sure i just babbled about a bunch of stuff to put on my public blog which i wouldn't have if i weren't both sleep-deprived and migraining.  like, my brain does weird things with migraines and pain.  one of them being a lessening somewhat in inhibitions.  dunno if anyone other than those super close to me would notice, but it happens.  i get to the point where i do something or consider doing something and just don't have the mental energy to decide whether or not to actually do it or say it, and then i just decide that it's what i'm really thinking and if the person i'm talking to loves me, or is at least a kind reasonable person, won't judge me if it comes out sounding stupid or crazy or childish or something.  because by rule i'm not stupid, childish, or crazy (technically speaking).

and i have no way to neatly sum up all of these thoughts.  there's a phrase commonly used by scribes to sum up HPI's.  first we say what the patient is complaining of, how long they've been experiencing it, any accompanying symptoms, risk factors or other pertinent information, and then we list a bunch of pertinent things they're not experiencing.  "so-and-so complains of shortness of breath, but denies any loss of consciousness, chest pain, palpitations, nausea, or vomiting" is important to note because it indicates they're probably not having a heart attack.  or "so-and-so complains of a laceration to his forearm after falling off his dirt bike, but denies any weakness, numbness, or tingling" is good to note because it indicates they probably don't have any nerve or muscle damage.
anyways.... after these things in the HPI, there are two magical phrases we use to wrap it all up.  "S/he is otherwise in good health with no additional complaints" and "s/he is otherwise in her normal state of health with no additional complaints."  it sums things up nicely (the latter is particularly good for people with lots of health problems who only come into the ER because they got a scratch that needs to be stitched up).

so, to sum up this post, i am otherwise in my normal state of health, with no additional complaints.

and here's a pretty picture for you to look at, just for making it to the end of this post.  i got these from my dad when i had my sinus surgery back in february.  pretty, eh?

I'm going to Guyana. Please help.

UPDATE:

my fundraising site is up!

I'm going to Guyana!

for two weeks. and i'll be camping. and hanging out with lots of sick people.

october 23-november 6.

i'm stoked.

[it's on facebook, too!]

What?

So over the past year, I've been trying to figure out what to do with my life. I took a CNA class- absolutely loved it. Then I worked for a few months with the school district, and in the spring decided to go back to the local community college. Spring and Summer quarters I attended part-time so if I had any migraine problems it wouldn't set me back in school. This plan worked excellently because both quarters I got a 3.9! Yay! Overjoyed, I quite happily signed up for Fall classes, ready to keep going.

And then there was that Sunday I sat in church and felt really strongly like something would come up this fall and I should withdraw from classes so I could devote myself to that opportunity. My thoughts were something like, "wha?!" So a few days later I took a big gulp and withdrew from my classes. Yikes! I thought and prayed about it and decided that hey, this would be a really good opportunity to do something I've always wanted to do-- go volunteer abroad!

I started researching various volunteer programs like crazy. After about a month of research I'd seen a few programs that caught my eye, but none of them occurring this fall. Then I got an email from Ve'ahavta. They told me that they had an upcoming medical trip to Guyana and were in need of a support person for their team and the information they had about me suggested that I might be a good fit for this role. The trip is scheduled to leave Oct 23, so would I please get back to them quickly about whether or not I'm interested? I took a weekend to pray about it and decided that this is something I really want to do and to go for it.

Well that's nice, Cassanndre, but what're you actually gonna do?

Well, this is so cool. Short answer: I'm going to be a support person on a medical team. My job will be multi-fold. Part of it will be to help our team leader logistically, make sure we don't forget anything on the little boats or airplanes (like medicine, tents, food, and other not-so-important items), and remind my teammates to stay hydrated and wear mosquito repellant. The other part of it will be using my medical skills and enthusiasm to learn by helping the doctors and nurses in the clinic. I will help with basic patient care (taking vitals, basic first aid, etc), triaging our incoming patients, and educating patients on things like hygiene, sexual health, diabetes, and preventative measures. I will also have opportunities to observe the doctors and nurses in action.

We will travel by "puddle jumper" (little plane), boat, canoe, and.... well, I imagine there will be a vehicle here or there :) We will be going to the rural Guyanese people who have less access to primary care and working with the local healthcare workers to meet the medical needs of each village.

If you want to know more in depth, check out the Ve'ahavta Guyana project information page.

You said "please help"... are you asking me for money?

Yes, yes, I am. I will be completely honest with you about this. And y'know what makes it great? I really don't have the ability to afford it on my own!

Are you crazy?

Yeah, maybe I am. However, I feel really strongly that this medical trip to Guyana is something my Heavenly Father is giving me the opportunity to do and it is something I really, really want to do. That's an understatement. I am enthused, excited, and committed to this trip. Worst case scenario here? I go to Guyana and am in debt to Ve'ahavta and arrange a payment plan with them to pay off the cost of the trip within the next year or so. I believe in working for a living as well as working to make dreams possible. I don't like the idea of debt and try to avoid it as much as possible. I feel strongly that if I do everything I can to prepare myself for this trip and take advantage of all of the resources available to me that I will be provided for- in whatever form that comes about. It might sound crazy to plan this trip on such short notice with such little resources of my own, but I am not ashamed of my situation nor my decision to go.

The cost of the trip is termed a donation (and thus is tax-deductible). It is typically $3,000 but because I'm awesome, Ve'ahavta has reduced it to $2,500 for me. What does this cover? This covers not only my personal airfare, food, in-country travel, insurance, etc. but it also helps cover the cost of the medical supplies we will be using and supplying the Guyanese people.

What do I get out of it?

Well, that depends on what you want out of it. If you want me to have a great time, expand my educational experiences, and help people- I promise you'll get that. You'll even get some people in Guyana who are healthier, happier, and more knowledgeable about taking care of themselves. Personally, though, I want to give back to the people who help me to go. I have a few ideas about this, and honestly, I can't think of one to make the single gift back to those of you who help sponsor me. So how about this? I'll give you guys a list of things I can do, and you let me know what you would like in return.

• a printed photo of guyana. your choice from my pictures of people and land. (since i am a photographer)
• a photoshoot of you, your family, your pets, whatever.
• professional editing or restoration of photos you already have.
• babysitting. (for an evening, a day, a few times a week, a month....)
• cleaning. with my special genetic-anal-retentive skills.
• a massage. (i have no training whatsoever, but i do have a reputation for awesome massages.)
• buy doTERRA oils from me at retail price (i believe i get 25% of your purchase). feel free to ask me about essential oils if you don't know about them or what might be a good fit for you. i love them. maybe i'll put a post regarding oils here on my blog sometime soon...
• caregiving. i am trained to be a nursing assistant. i can help you or a loved one in a number of ways, from personal hygiene and basic medical attention to preparing meals and rearranging furniture for greater accessibility. and many things in between.
• tutoring. i have extensive experience working with special needs kids. i also am a college student and can help with most subjects up to high school level. i took two years of ASL and can teach you basic sign language.
• anything else you can think of.

well that's nice that you can do stuff, but I only have a little bit of money. can I just get a picture or something?

Of course! And you know what, if 50 people donated $20, that would be $1000. Now, I probably won't be able to send an 8x10 glossy to each of those 50 people because that would get expensive. But if you want one, let me know and we'll make it happen. If you want an hour of tutoring or a small handful of photos edited, let's talk about it. If you want to just donate and you don't want anything in return, that's really sweet and I'll accept that, but please give me your address so I can at least send you a picture or something. Pretty much, I'm a reasonable person, and I expect that anyone who reads this is probably a reasonable person. Want to help me out? Let's talk and see what I can do for you!

I have more questions!

Okay, post them below, give me a call (if you have my number), or shoot me an email (cassanndre [at] gmail [dot] com). I will also probably come back and add more information as I think of things people might want to know/ I want to share.

the happy little slugbug

A conversation with a friend of mine got me thinking....

He said-- "some people are very intelligent with the match tendency to doubt and criticize. Such a person is powerful, but with powerful engines, requires a lot of fuel to maintain a happy amount of energy. A smaller engine, may not see or know much, but is quite happy in ignorance of all things, and requires little fuel to sustain"and I said okay i guess, but I didn't like the idea that the little guy was happier just because he didn't know any better.
So, I'm thinking, what if there are levels? What there's the little slugbug level where he's happy just because he doesn't know any better. Then there's the SUV level or whatever where he's having a harder time being happy 'cuz he's learned some stuff. What if after that there's another level (um.... anologie [too late to splele that word!] difficulty-- airplane????), where the guy has learned even more, but because of that finds it easy to be happy.
I guess that's what I disliked about the little car being the happy one-- Knowledge should make us happy. Or rather, the more Truth we know, the happier we will be because, honestly, the Eternal Truths are pretty awesome, exciting things. They shouldn't get us down.If all we know is getting us down, perhaps we're not seeking after or focusing on the right knowledge...or something like that.