believe it or not, life is really good!

My cousin, Derek, wrote this post a couple days ago.  It got me thinking about similar experiences I've had, particularly recently.
Since last posting on this blog... wow, apparently that really was 6 months ago!  Anyways, since then, I've gone back to school.  My goal is to do some Pre-Med major and in about 4 years apply to med school.  Dream big, right?  Fall quarter went well, and I eased my way into it by taking 1 class- chemistry.  I'm still working part time and after all these years of migraines and other health problems, have finally learned to be kind to myself and not rush things.  I made friends in my class, and we all progressed to the next chemistry class for this current winter quarter.  I also felt like I should take ASL this quarter.  I loved taking ASL in high school, and even remembered a fair amount of it even though it's been... 8 years (wow!).
Anyways, this quarter has proved to be the hardest yet.  I don't know why the Lord has asked so much of me this quarter.  On top of taking 11 credits at school, I'm working an average of 20 hours a week.  That average looks more like... 10 hours 1 week and 40 the next.  Oh, and I still about 30-45 minutes away from my school... that also is tiring.  Oh, and I have an 830 am class.... every day.  And most of my shifts at work run till 10pm or later.  That has meant being sleep deprived at various points.  I'm not a morning person, so 1 week into the quarter I remember praying on the way in to school.  My prayer went something like, "I am not a morning person, how in the world can I do this every day for the rest of this quarter?"  Well, I haven't done it every day, I skipped class a couple times in the interest of my health, and teacher cancelled class a couple times in the interest of his.  Other than these times, I have actually done it.  And I think I'll come out of the quarter with good grades in both classes.
But that's not all I've been dealing with this quarter.  On top of those things (and the migraines that tend to come when I overwork and undersleep), my anxiety has spiked these last few months, and I've had a close friend who has been really sick.  Those two things have taken the most from me emotionally and spiritually.  So I've had stress from every angle, mentally with school, emotionally with anxiety, spiritually/emotionally with my friend, and physically with trying to keep up with it all!  About a month ago I got burnt out, so every day for a week or two I'd come home from work or school and sleep.  But I talked to my teachers and they have been kind.  I went back on preventative medication for my anxiety, and feel more like my normal self.  While not doing perfectly, I've made probably more of a concentrated/conscious effort to get enough sleep than I ever have in the past.  I know who my friends are, and the people I can trust, and I've talked to them.  I have a good team of classmates (particularly in chemistry), who have been kind and helpful when I struggled.
And here's the crux of it: I've had my Savior helping me.  I don't know why this was the quarter I felt like I really should take that extra ASL class.  I don't know why that class had to be at 0830 when I'm still living a 45 minute drive away.  I don't know why work was busier than normal every day I worked for a couple months straight.  I don't know why this was the same time I had to figure out how to juggle all of this, while it was also the same time my dear friend got really sick (maybe my busy schedule kept me from being an overhelpful pain lol).  I don't know why all of these things got thrown into my life at the same time, but now that the quarter is almost done, my reflections lead me to think that I'm better off for all of it.

To learn more about Jesus Christ, visit here

I can honestly say that on my own, I was physically incapable of dealing with all of this.  But I haven't been on my own.  I've been blessed with dear friends who take time for me, kind classmates who make succeeding in class seem like a team effort, family members who are patient when I'm home so little, and above all, I've been blessed with a Savior.  He really has saved me this quarter, I think.  He has made success in this terribly difficult time possible.  Not only that, but partnering with Him has brought me joy.  For the most part, I've been pretty happy for the past couple of months.  Stressed and worried?  Yes.  Sick and tired at times?  Yes.  Sleep-deprived?  Definitely.  Behind in my classes?  Sometimes.  Worried about my friend?  At times, of course.  More anxious than I've been in a couple years?  Yeah.
But despite all of this, I've had this over-arching peace.  I've had bad days, but I haven't felt like my life itself was bad.  I'm in awe that Christ really has helped me get through the impossible.  And to top it all off, I feel like a better, happier person as a result of this experience.

Oh, and I really am blessed.  I don't think I could list all of my blessings here, but here's a big one: I get to move into an apartment with one of my best friends really soon!!

And now I should close.  I've got homework due tonight, and essay due tomorrow, and two tests two days from now!  And some other stuff to do, too haha.

Mormon's advice to Moroni

Moroni 9:25: My son, be faithful in Christ; and may not the things which I have written [pretty much he wrote about the end of their civilization] grieve thee, to weigh thee down unto death; but may Christ lift thee up, and may his sufferings and death, and the showing his body unto our fathers, and his mercy and long-suffering, and the hope of his glory and of eternal life, rest in your mind forever."

I saw in this scripture, instructions on how to deal with the depressing things in life, without actually letting them depress you.
-be faithful in Christ, that he may lift you up
-remember his sufferings and death
-remember his appearance to the Nephites (see 3 Nephi)
-remember his mercy and long-suffering
-remember the hope of his glory and eternal life


Today is September 11th.  I really liked this article which President Monson wrote for the Washington Post.  Read the whole thing, but here are two things I really liked that he said:

We should strive for steadiness, and for a commitment to God that does not ebb and flow with the  years or the crises of our lives.

It is constancy that God would have from us.  Tragedies are not merely opportunities to give Him a fleeting thought, or for momentary insight to His plan for our happiness. Destruction allows us to rebuild our lives in the way He teaches us, and to become something different than we were."

I really like that.  "Destruction allows us to rebuild our lives...."  When we partner with the Savior, even our mistakes can be turned to our advantage.  Try to maintain a consistent attitude of optimism and hope- I try to do this, but of course it is hard to do.  However, I know that through the Atonement, Christ truly can turn mistakes and destruction and horrible things into opportunities for us.  Opportunities for growth, love, happiness, and goodness.  Opportunities to become better people, or discover the true extent of our goodness and the goodness of those around us.

school papers and prayer

i was asked by a friend with an upcoming research paper due for school, if i had any advice on how to research?  i am by far not an expert (i do know some experts!), but i am comfortable with the research process, so i shared what i could and tried to be helpful.  after our conversation, i pulled out the magic book i have from my intro to college writing class which i took several years ago (On Writing, by Wendy Bishop) to see if I found any useful tidbits to pass along.

the author says (p 398) to think of research as it really is, "a process of finding out; that is, learning, as well as finding support for your ideas and presenting your thinking and arguments in the company of the thinking and arguments of others."

she goes on--
"all writers research.  they do this because they love to learn about the world in ways that inform their writing.  writers study the world: they observe it, they interview its inhabitants, they record the results of their studies and thoughts. ... whether consulting your memory or an on-line database, you're searching for information and voices to strengthen your own voice.  when you quote an authority, you show that you've considered the thoughts and positions of others.  you also align yourself with that individual in an ongoing, community discussion....  when readers realize you're grounded and connected- that you've done your researcher's homework, they begin to listen to your points with less resistance.  you gain a hearing and your views are respected."

i like the perspective she offers here-- it makes research seem like a more natural task and less daunting.  and maybe, just maybe, even fun!

i was thinking about this and realized that research for writing is a lot like praying (or giving a talk in church).  you start with a question, and then you research to come to an answer.  that research involves asking God, and it also involves utilizing the materials He's made available to us.  scriptures, conference talks, the ensign, other published materials, church leaders, friends and family, as well as more secular, non-religious materials.  in the process of getting information from all these sources, we become informed on our topic in question.  in fact, we become informed on more than just our specific question, but also on the general topics surrounding it.  eventually, we are able to consider all of this information and obtain an answer to our question.  sometimes we figure out that answer step by step as we ponder all we have researched.  sometimes, that answer is spoken by the Holy Spirit directly to our minds.  either way, the research we have done is critical to prepare our minds, so the answer can not only be accepted, but also understood.  when an answer to prayer comes to a prepared mind, the recipient is able to act upon it and then reap blessings and further direction.

Richard G Scott said, "it is a mistake to assume that every prayer we offer will be answered immediately.  some prayers require considerable effort on our part."  (see conference talk from 1989)  sometimes we have to do a lot of research to come to an answer.

let's consider the story of Joseph Smith Jr when he was just a young teenager.  he wanted to know which church to join, so he researched it.  not only did he go to the different churches in his area, but he spoke with the pastors and members and he spoke with with his family.  he considered all that each had to say.  he also read the scriptures and prayed about it.  he heeded he prompting of james 1:5 which addresses all those who lack wisdom, and prompts them to ask of God, who "giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not".  Joseph was determined to obtain an answer, so he heeded this call and went to a quiet place in the woods to pray vocally.  after a great struggle, he relates "I saw a pillar of light exactly over my head, above the brightness of the sun, which descended gradually until it fell upon me.  ... When the light rested upon me I saw two Personages, whose brightness and glory defy all description, standing above me in the air.  One of them spake unto me, calling me by name and said, pointing to the other- This is My Beloved Son.  Hear Him!"  Joseph was visited by none other than God the Father and Jesus Christ.  his question was answered by Christ, who instructed him to join none of the religions- for they were all wrong and incomplete.  Joseph then became an instrument for Jesus Christ, to restore His gospel in its entirety upon the earth.  (See Joseph Smith-History)

research also informs answers we have already received.  D&C 8:1-2 reads "I will tell you in your mind and in your heart, by the Holy Ghost."  Elder Scott elaborates, "When we receive an impression in our heart, we can use our mind either to rationalize it away or to accomplish it."  when we use our mind to help us accomplish impressions given to our hearts, that also often involves research.

a few years ago i was wanting to go back to school, but felt that my health at the time would not permit it.  i had spent a couple years praying, going to doctors, trying new medicines and treatments, going to the temple, and receiving priesthood blessings.  one summer i visited some friends at BYU-Idaho for a vacation.  while there, i also wanted to scope out the place, hoping that someday i may be well enough to attend.  during this trip, i felt impressed that i should start school there that very fall.  the semester was to start within 2 months from my vacation.  i had a to do a lot of work and research to make this happen.  i spoke with multiple administrative people on campus, sent a petition to the appeals committee, got a letter from my doctor, scouted out housing, and discussed my decision with my family (who all then rallied behind me in support).  it happened, and about 2 months after receiving the answer to go to school, i began my studies at BYU-Idaho.  it was nothing short of a series of miracles which enabled me to make it there.  but i had to prepare myself for those miracles, and i had to research all of the options available to me.

i know that through prayer, personal study, and action, we can receive answers to our questions and direction in our lives.  i know that as we pattern our life in all ways after gospel principles, we will be blessed.  asking God and then studying out our concerns is a gospel process- an eternal method- for obtaining knowledge and answers.  if this process is followed, we will be blessed in all aspects of our lives.

friendship and happiness

"bear one another's burdens, that they may be light"  -Mosiah 18:8
I was talking to a friend today about friendship.  When you choose to be happy- and learn how,  you find that a lot of negative people drop out of your life, and a lot of positive ones drop in.  It's not really a conscious decision, it's just that we attract people like ourselves.  when we're miserable, we tend to hang out with other miserable people.  when we're happy, healthy people, we find ourselves surrounded by other happy people.  you see, sometimes good, well-intending, caring people try to help other people bear their burdens, however they get caught up in it- and then those burdens never become light, they just get shared around and continue to make everyone miserable.  that's not how God wants it to be.
"...and men are that they might have joy." (2 Ne 2:25)  Help someone bear their burden, and then be happy.
The verses following "bear one another's burdens" include mourning with those that mourn, standing with those that are in need of comfort, and standing as a witness of God at all times, in all things, and all places.  And then we are told what the point is for doing all of this: "that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that ye may have eternal life".
My friend pointed out that the result of loving and helping others is interestingly self-centered in a way.  When I make a pattern of helping people selflessly, the result is an eternity of God-like happiness for me.
So don't get caught up in drama and suffering.  Help people when they're hurting, but don't forget the end goal.  The end goal is to be with God, to be like God, and to be happy.  And while being physically with and truly like God are things that will take quite some time, being happy doesn't have to.  Being happy can happen just as soon as you learn to live your life happily.  And when you remember this end goal, the people you help will be better off.  Your happiness will rub off on them, and truly help their burdens to become light.

faith and answers to prayer

There was a wonderful quote shared either in Sunday School or Relief Society today.  The following quote was shared,

When we seek inspiration to help makes decisions, the Lord gives gentle promptings.  These require us to think, to exercise faith, to work, to struggle at times, and to act.  Seldom does the whole answer to a decisively important matter or complex problem come all at once.  More often, it comes a piece at a time, without the end in sight.

I loved that quote so much, I google searched until I found the talk.  It's from a talk called, "Learning to Recognize Answers to Prayer" by Richard G Scott.  Go read it.  It's great.
I learned that when the answer to prayer is yes, it's encouragement to take confidence.  When the answer is no, it's keep us from making mistakes.  But the real kicker Elder Scott addresses, is that sometimes the answer to a prayer is withheld.  Or it comes in pieces.  When this happens, it is to encourage us to act.  As Elder Scott says:

When he withholds an answer, it is to have us grow through faith in Him, obedience to His commandments, and a willingness to act on truth.  We are expected to assume accountability by acting on decision that is consistent with His teachings without prior confirmation.  we are not to sit passively waiting or to murmur because the Lord has not spoken.  We are to act."

We are to act.  I love it.  I love the principle of action- of how Heavenly Father encourages us to go out and actually use our ability to choose.  Indeed, Paul said to Timothy, "God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."  (2 Timothy 1:7)
Faith would not be so powerful if it were easy.  I choose to have faith.  I choose to have faith that Heavenly Father and Christ love me, they are guiding me, and that the things I have felt to be answers to prayer are truly Their wishes for me.  I will have doubts, but in those moments I will again choose faith.