The Guyana Journal... Post #2

23 Oct Sunday

After staying up most of last night packing, my plane left Seattle this morning around 8:30am.  I flew to Chicago, where I met Miriam- our nurse.  I like her.  She has kids my age.  She is Jewish.  I’m excited to get to know some Jewish people and more about their religion- I feel like learning about Judaism is like learning about my own faith.

I got a father’s blessing from Scott this morning before we left for the airport.  As soon as he put his hands on my head and began speaking I started crying.  Oh how I had been yearning for a blessing!  And what a relief to finally receive one!  I was blessed to have a safe trip and reminded of what King Benjamin said in the book of Mosiah, “When ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God.”  I don’t remember much else that was said, but I remember noting that I wasn’t promised good health.  I may still have good health, or I may struggle.  I personally hope that Guyana proves to be good for my asthma & sinuses and therefore migraines.  Guess we’ll find out.  I remember, though, feeling or sensing the flow of revelation through Scott as he quoted the scripture from Mosiah.

Early today, on my first flight, that scripture helped me through.  I was getting anxious.  Then I remembered that I am on the Lord’s errand!  I am serving Him!  I was reminded and humbled:  this is not about me.  I feel weak and inadequate, but I am going to Guyana to serve my God.

I was reminded that Christ can make weak things strong.  I feel like I may be the weakest link in our team- maybe least prepared, maybe not, but I am the youngest, with no professional experience whatsoever, little money, and on top of it all, I have health problems!  Migraines brought on by stress.  Sinus problems.  Sleep apnea… and I’m going 2 weeks without my CPAP!  I’m pretty irregular with using it, but I haven’t gone 2 weeks without it before.

As I think of all those things, my heart begins to race a little.  Anxiety.  But the Spirit- beneath the light fog of anxiety, whispers to me.  I am reminded that Moses (Aaron?) was slow of speech; Joseph Smith barely had any formal education, and other prophets have at times felt weak and inadequate.

I am also reminded of the pioneers being asked to leave the comfort of their homes in Nauvoo, trust the Lord, and move forward with the very most basic of necessities and sometimes lacking even those.

*~*~*~*

when we were still clean and our clothes didn't smell

On the plane to Trinidad and Tobago I helped two ladies fill out their entry into country form.  They are Chinese, older and I wonder if they are sisters?  Chee Kwan’s passport says it was issued in Trinidad-Tobago.  Chunru’s was issued in Port of Spain, but is a Chinese passport.  Neither of them speak much English, let alone write it, so I had the privilege of filling out the information on their sheet and asking questions like “are you married?” and trying to explain what I as asking.  It was fun.  They were visiting China and are on their way home to Trinidad-Tobago.  What’s in Trinidad-Tobago anyways?  I know absolutely nothing of the country.

Carol, Miriam, and Dr Fred

I like my teammates.  They all seem just as confused as I- excited, but not sure what we’ve gotten ourselves into. J  First there’s Miriam, she’s a nurse who does acupuncture.  She has 3 kids ages 24, 22, and 18.  Her boyfriend didn’t talk to her for a couple days and so she “threatened” to leave the country… and ended up having everything fall into place rather quickly- a lot like me.  We talked about religion and she asked me about mine- she didn’t know much about Mormons.  I was trying to communicate our religious respect for Judaism… it was hard considering I’ve never studied Judaism or had Jewish friends.  I ended up saying something I felt was good to communicate.  Essentially, learning about Judaism and Jewish beliefs adds to and strengthens what I already feel, believe, and know.  When I learn about Judaism, I feel like I’m learning about my own religion.

Okay, Dr. Fred Leitner.  When I first met him, he reminded me of the Uncle Red from the Red-Green show.  He used to do family practice, then went into occupational medicine, from which he just quit and is considering going back to family practice.  He left it in the first place because he felt like he wasn’t able to practice medicine the way he learned to do it—he said the Canadian healthcare system (which has long been socialized) has cut out much of doctors' choices and also demanded less face-to-face time with patients.

Red Green from the RedGreen show.... the guy whom Dr Fred reminded me of :)

The Guyana Journal... Post #1

I promised to post about my trip to Guyana... well, I've typed up parts of my journal so I will start sharing those journal entries in different posts.  This entries in this post are all from the week prior to my leaving for Guyana.


Note: some of the more personal, spiritual, and irrelevant entries will be withheld from these posts (indicated by a "..." or "[ ]" to sum up what I've taken out)

17 Oct 2011 Monday

dr fred doing what we all
tried to do chance we got-
 exactly one week from this entry

One week from right now, it will be noon in Guyana.  And I have no idea what I’ll be doing- sitting in a bush plane, flying to the jungle?  Relaxing for a couple hours after 20 hours of ravel to fly from Seattle to Toronto to Trinidad-Tobago, to Guyana?  Setting up camp in some rural, jungle village?  Eating lunch in Georgetown?  In the jungle?  Puking my guts out from traveling?  Being briefed on what we’ll be doing and where we’ll be going over the next two weeks?  Becoming acquainted with my fellow teammates?  Being propelled through the jungle by canoe?  Taking pictures?  Reading my scriptures?  Writing in my journal?

I could go on.

I have so much to do to prepare.

….

I pray that I will be everything I need to be for this trip.  The Spirit whispers in response that the Savior qualifies whom He calls- He does not (always) call the qualified.  I suppose that would be me.  Unqualified, inexperienced, and weak.  But mine is an errand of angels; a mission given by my Savior.  Have faith in Him and confidence that with Him and His Holy Spirit, I can do all things.  Even hard things.

18 Oct Tues

….

Now, to be honest with myself-

·         I haven’t been drinking anywhere near enough water.  (Probably cuz I ran out of H2) bottles haha.)

·         My room is much too dusty and is a part of my sinus problem.  If I want to get healthy, I absolutely must deep clean it.  That means under the bed.  I’m a little frightened and wish I had a mask.

·         While avoiding sugar has been good for mental health, I haven’t been eating enough things of nutritional value.  Low-sugar cereal is not good enough for me to live off of.

I’ve lost weight!  Yay!  I weight myself at Katie’s the other day—165lbs!  I don’t remember the last time I was below 170!  Yay!  Yay!  Yay!

Guyana is getting closer.  I’m excited.

I’ve had a couple moments of nervousness, but those largely passed when I prayed or thought of my Heavenly Father.

….

20 Oct Thurs

….

[A friend of mine gave me some advice for my upcoming trip to Guyana.  He said to get to know the people and their families.]  There are things they can teach or bring to me which will help me live and appreciate a good life.

Budgeting.  Finances.  Don’t spend more than you have.  I think I may not go to Kaieteur Falls.  Maybe another day.  I would rather roam Georgetown, have money to buy some things for myself and my family, and have money left over for when I come back home so I’m not completely broke.  There is life after Guyana.   I don’t know what I’m going to do with it, but it is there!

I’m excited.

…

21 Oct Friday @ the temple

This morning I didn’t want to drive all the way up here, but I read my scriptures and was encouraged to not be slothful (Alma 32 or 33) but have faith and look to Christ for healing.  So I came and blessedly arrived at the same time as a husband and wife who wanted to do baptisms.  Right after I was done with baptisms, I noticed my sinuses felt more open and the mucus and pus had started to drain.  That was nice.  And it wasn’t the chlorine water (I’ve been swimming and not had the same effect).  I believe it’s because Baptism is a cleansing ordinance and the temple is a holy, consecrated space.  I believe that even though I am performing the baptisms as a proxy for other sisters, I still receive some of the cleansing benefits.

I love the temple.  I so glad I came.  I’m so glad Heavenly Father helped me read my scriptures, get out of bed, and come.  I’m grateful that those Hungarian sisters were able to be confirmed or baptized today.  I welcome them to the Church.

I know that angels will be with me in Guyana and I am so thankful for that…. Indeed, I rely on the promise that angels will be round me to bear me up.  I’ll need it.

….

2 Corin 10:4 “the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds.”

Nothing physical we do will pull down the barriers that exist between us and others.  Cuddling, holding hands, and kissing are not weapons.  Hitting, kicking, shooting, intimidating, and yelling will not do it either.  Rather, courage, testimony, strength- might! - given by God, will pull down those strongholds.

·         Courage

·         Strength

·         Testimony

·         Truth

·         Transparency

And always remember the scripture: “For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ”.

Don’t be afraid to tell people what I believe and allow them to act.  God has given me no commandment or advice of action aside from share the things I am blessed to have with my neighbor so that he may also be blessed by them and stand with boldness and meekness for the things Christ has given me faith in.

Do not apologize for the words of angels.

Share with courage what I know.

Love people for themselves.

Forgive people.  Go to them privately with injuries and anxieties that they may be resolved.  Invite people to come to me with injuries and anxieties that they may be resolved.

Journey.

Trust the Savior to lead those I love and worry about through intensive healing.

Love my future children.  Share that love with others.

Open up my heart to others, trusting the Lord to care for it.  When is the opportunity to do this?  Always.

[23 Nov 2011 Weds]  Conducting oneself this way towards those you love most is difficult, but possible.  Conducting oneself this way towards those with whom you have disagreements is, at least- daunting, and at most- terrifying.  I feel inadequate.  Yet I know that this is the way those of us who have Judeo-Christian values have been commanded to live.  We know it is best, it is right, and we know that God will help us.

“Lay aside the things of this world and seek for things of a better.”

Lift up my heart and rejoice!  Cleave unto my covenants:

·         Baptismal

·         Pre-earth

·         Covenants to come

“Continue in meekness and beware of PRIDE.”

The journey to Guyana begins!

all things

i feel... a little lost.

and yet as i sat here watching castle, i felt inspiration. i reflected on how when hard things happen i need time to cope. that is the way my body works. i need space and time from the world to just get myself settled. and then i understood-- good things that happen to me are like this, too. i need time to cope with them, to absorb my experience into my system. what have i been through in the past month? guyana. that's a big, good, thing. and probably, just as i was adjusting to being home and, in a way, becoming one with my experience, we move suddenly and somewhat unexpectedly. for a week and half, everything changes. i went through two experiences in under a month where my entire world changed for more than a week. that's huge! and my body and mind take time to process that. i know the two are connected. and i think that the sensitivity of my body and mind are something special my Heavenly Father has given me to help me learn to rely on Him. i really can't do anything on my own, but when i rely on Him and listen for His promptings, His suggestions, and obey His commandments-- He can make so much out of my life! i mean, really-- I went to Guyana! a year ago i never would have thought i would travel the world and now i'm thinking i need to find a way to make it my profession... and y'know what? God willing, I will.

"God willing." that's all that matters. if it's His will or something He's willing to support, then I can do it. "I can do all things through Christ, which strengtheneth me." -Philippians 4:13

a quote found when packing

"I grew up with gangster people... they're not that scary- they all love me!" -Roo

and a note to those of who who actually read my blog: i finally approved peoples' comments! even though it's been like... 5 months for some of them haha.

Ryanair and pornography

Ryanair, a european airline company known for cheap airline tickets, just announced that they will provide a new in-flight app that will allow passengers to view pornography during flights. Customers could simply log into a Ryanair app using their iPads or smartphones and then pay to gamble, play games or view sex scenes.

As a professional airline business, Ryanair's decision to promote pornography is a surprise to me. It is not professional for a CEO or employee of any company to view pornography while at work and it certainly wouldn't be professional to provide pornographic material for the employee break room. Providing pornography on its flights will degrade Ryanair's professional integrity as well as its public image.

Pornography is a degrading business for both men and women. It glorifies violence and abuse of women and casts us as a human race in a role less than that of the animals- for animals mate to reproduce in response to their natural urges. What the pornography industry distributes is an image of sex which is anything but natural. It is not reflective of how kind, successful, civilized people show affection and love and it certainly is no reflection of how a man in love truly treats his partner. Instead, pornography casts men in the role of soulless, hungry animals without any modicum of self-restraint and women in the role of play things, slaves, who must not only endure some of the worst forms of abuse but act as if they truly enjoy it.

The truth is that many pornography workers have sexually transmitted infections, drug and alcohol addictions, massive debt, depression, panic attacks, and chronically low self esteem. Women in the pornography and sex trafficking industries experience physical and sexual abuse routinely as a part of their job in ways that are not only emotionally damaging but often physically damaging as well. The aggressive and unnatural sex they participate in often leads to severe damage of a woman's reproductive system. Sexually Transmitted Infections are a frequent problem for sex workers. The profession puts women in situation where they are at high risk for developing gynecological and urinary problems. The multiple sex partners, the high likelihood of sexually transmitted diseases, and anatomy of a women's urological system makes urinary tract and bladder infections a serious concern. Lack of protection and contraction of HIV/AIDS, herpes, syphilis, gonorrhea, and other STI's drastically increase the chances of devoloping cervical cancer. Far from uncommon is a prolapsed uterus- caused by the damage of repeated, rough, hard sex. The muscles and tissues which hold the uterus in a womens's abdominal cavity are torn and weakened to the point that the uterus may actually fall down through the vaginal opening. Infections, hemorrhoids, and herniation involving the bladder and rectum are all possible complications.

Pornography is not glamorous. It is not a respectable industry. To protect the future of our society, we can not condone in any way the principles of violence, abuse, degradation, and objectification of self and fellow human beings. For your husband or wife, your children, your sacred honor, and the future of your country, please stand against pornography. Keep it out of our homes and away from our children.

For more information, including peer reviewed research, please visit the Pornography Harms website.

To participate in the effort to keep pornography off of Ryanair- and far away from other airlines, please go here to send a message to the Ryanair leaders.