here nor there? be here

Someone else to add to my gratitude list. This Friend is one of those people who drops me messages here and there, usually when I need them the most.
Friend just told me (via internet) to "lemme know how I can help you!". I began a reply and a couple paragraphs into it, realized it was going to be a bit long, but I liked where I was going, so decided to continue and that I would post it here when I was done. Here it is:

and... Thank you! It gets sucky when I have to spend more time at home, and then passing sucky when people doubt (the severity of) my illness, and thereby question my character. ([Friend] mentioned to me that "people are starting to talk"... that was pleasant (sarcasm), and somewhat diminished my looking-forward to seminary, and I miss that place!!)
I guess what it is is that some days, especially those when I feel above averagely unwell and miss out on things, I just feel like I'm becoming isolated from people that live even just 5 minutes away from me. I've gone from seeing most of the people I care about almost every day- even multiple times a day- to once or twice a week, if I'm feeling up to it. At a time when emotional support and connection with my friends is most needed, it had become the hardest to get. My parents are really stressed out, and so [Step-Dad] isn't always able to be as understanding as I would like him to be, and my Mom doesn't always have the energy to help me out when I'm scared, stressed, or just sick.
I've been slacking on the "basics"- things like scriptures and prayer- when I need to be devoting more time to them. I know there is a lot of strength to be gained from them, but sometimes I'm just too tired to get up the motivation for it. I think I do well at having heartfelt prayers, but I need to have them more than just once a day, and to give more time to them. Gospel study is especially important, especially with me not being able to go to seminary or institute most of the time- I have a deficit to make up for.
I remember talking to someone my freshman or early-sophmore year, (I can't recall who it was) and saying something to the effect that if I were ever to get sick, my friends wouldn't let me get isolated. I had somewhat of an idealistic image of people rallying around me, and going out of their way to be supportive.
I don't doubt in my friends' ability to do this, nor do I doubt their good intentions and love, but I must realize that my previous idea was unrealistic. I have to alter that idea- if I were to have a severe, acute problem (such as might land me in the hospital), I am confident that my friends and community (I speak of the church and family community- which are pretty much the same thing) would rally around me and my family and be amazingly supportive, helpful, and well-intentioned. I have seen them do such before for other people.
It's different, however, when one descends slowly into bad health. There is no message that makes its way around the community- "So-and-so is not doing well and needs some extra love!" There is no sudden resection from all facets of life. The resection is gradual, and by the time people realize what has happened, they have become accustomed to it. There is no internal burn to go aid the person, to reach out. With a chronic illness, the aid is continually needed, and people- despite their best intentions and truly good natures- burn out, get lazy, busy, or simply distracted.
The world moves on- rapidly, radically, constantly- as the chronic illness sufferer fights the pull of isolation. The threads that tie one to society begin fray, sometimes even snapping, and the person can be left more and more isolated as the world moves more and more forward.
I know there is a way to fight this impending isolation, but I'm not sure what it is. Sometimes I even doubt that I would even have the energy to fight. It's tempting to just sit back and let the threads snap.
Despite this, I have decided to not give in to the loneliness. I will pick the threads that matter most- my God, my family, my dear friends, and my future- and devote my energy to maintaining and strengthening those. Let the other, lesser threads to the world, to life, fray and snap. I may yearn- and even cry- for them, but I can survive- happily even- without them.
You want to know how you can help? What would mean the most to me would be helping me to not become isolated. I am afraid of it. I am afraid that it will happen, and I may not even be able to stop it. Call me when you're thinking of me. Invite me to do things- even if you know I probably can't. Keep me updated and informed on the things I miss. Drop me an email, or a message on facebook. Read my blog and leave a comment. Take pictures for me. Stick up for me. Stop by randomly- just to say hi and maybe even hang out. You're always welcome, and will always be recieved with gratitude (just don't have very high expectations on the state of the house ;D). Advise me, counsel me, listen to me, love me. Most of all- don't just "be there" for me, because I can't always be wherever "there" is. Please- be HERE for me.