in awe

I have recently taken to reading medical blogs, such as Code Blog, A Chronic Dose, and oncRN. They are terribly interesting to me, and have gotten me to think- so much so that I may even take up blogging myself! (not even just settling for posts of my schoolwork!)

On my thoughts today is this post by an oncology nurse.

i don't know what it is about this woman, but i know she has buoyed me somehow today and i feel grateful. why does it feel like she has taken care of me? ... as i go to leave, i want to say thank you...but that sounds weird.
so i just say good night instead.
see you in the morning.

I think I know what it is about that woman. It is her ability to see the world as normal while she is in a completely abnormal situation. It is her refreshing point of view. She is like breathing the crisp morning air. You breath it in- long and deep, savoring the smell and taste-, and you feel it spread from your lungs outward. It pushes out that stale lifelessness, reminding you to really live.
It reminds me of Roo. She had the amazing gift to be comfortable at the thought of her disease. It still caused her pain- both physically and emotionally, but she took it all in stride- accepting it as just another normal part of life. She didn't avoid or dodge around a topic. She lived loving people. She was happy- cheerful, joyful. If she had something she wanted to say, she would say it. She always spoke that way. She was the crisp morning air. She woke people up, gave them life, and reminded them to live it. Blunt. Realistic. Tenacious.

That tenacity for life- while being in constant pain, when isolated, and despite knowing that you may very well die- is contagion. It is what "buoys" the rest of us.
It is how the patient paradoxically becomes the caregiver.
It is that quality which boldly allows one's greatest strengths and deepest shortcomings to be equally displayed to the world.
It is what allows the world to analyze those strengths and shortcomings.
It is what causes the world to look on an imperfect person in awe.